9 Weird Things You Miss When You’re Not on the Road
I always know when it’s time for me to pack up the rucksack and hit the road again. It’s not when the tan lines fade, nor when the 9-5 grind starts to get me down, nor even when I start spending my lunch hour in travel agencies just looking at photos in their brochures. These are early signs, but the real indicator is when I start to miss really weird aspects of travel.
I don’t just miss the thrill of not knowing where you’ll be in the morning or the unbridled bliss of not having to be anywhere at any specific time. No, when my feet truly start to itch I even begin yearning for the things that drive me to despair when I am on the road. Here are nine weird things you might start missing about travel. If any of them apply to you, then it’s time to think about polishing your hiking boots and jumping back on a plane.
Food poisoning

Eventually, when my passport hasn’t see the light of day for a while, I even start to miss the obligatory day in bed and that gradual rise to actually enjoying street meat again. And it sure does leave you feeling cleansed and skinny!
The Language barrier

Of course, being back at home does make everything easier, but life’s just so boring when you understand what’s going on. I crave the excitement of ordering a dish with no clue about its contents, or even the extreme annoyance of taking a train for 12 hours to arrive in a town that just sounds a little like the one I was actually heading for.
Haggling

Haggling can lead to some hilarious anecdotes or some fun conversations, especially in countries when it’s an engrained part of the culture (I’ll never forget the 20 minute exchange in Egypt where I ended up buying a stone penis from an affable trader: ‘Why don’t you want my penis?’, ‘What’s wrong with my penis?’). Sure, you can head to your local market when you’re home, but traders in the western world are not the haggling masters that you’d find in Egypt or India, where absolutely everything is negotiable, price tag or not.
See the photo on the right if you are curious what this stone penis looked like.
Uncomfortable transport

You’ll rejoice the first time you board an air conditioned coach back home, but where’s the challenge when you know you have a numbered seat and an empty aisle to stretch out in? If you find yourself taking rush hour tubes and buses just to get that ‘face in a fellow passenger’s armpit’ feeling, then you know it’s time to ditch the office job, buy a guidebook and disappear.
Living out of a bag

And as much as I like being able to find my clothes in the morning, sometimes I can’t help missing the creased clothing that rarely sees more than a rinse in the shower and the seemingly acceptable excuse for being utterly scruffy all of the time.
Gut-wrenching toilets

As much as people deny it, everyone loves a toilet tale and the more revolting, the better. There’s nothing more engrossing than other people’s misfortune, so as vile as it may be, you need to keep visiting those outhouses from hell. It’s only tales of losing your footing in a long drop or leaving a train toilet with damp trouser cuffs that make you a party hit (though not necessarily a dinner party).
24-hour train rides

Sure, once you’re on the train you’re itching to get off, but really – what can be more relaxing that having your bedroom and bathroom within a few metres of a dedicated restaurant and no options to exert yourself even if you wanted to?
Being a celebrity

You can’t get a good shot of you and your chosen attraction without a crowd of fans surrounding you, you tire of people shouting ‘gringo’, ‘lao wai’, ‘guiri’, ‘wei guk’ or ‘mzungu’ every time you leave your hostel and you can’t even pee in peace. But revel in it while it lasts. Soon enough you’ll be at home, where however weird you look, you’re just a slightly tall/fat/hairy/rosy/blond person in a sea of similarly indistinguishable faces. As much as you might start to resent the attention that comes with the only faranji in town while you’re travelling, you’ll yearn for it once you’re back to the life of an average Joe.
Starting over

Sometimes it’s nice to stick around for a couple of weeks or return to an earlier haunt so you know your way around – where to get a cold beer, a meal that won’t send you running to the bathroom or a peaceful night’s sleep. Once you’re back at home though, the thought of being dumped somewhere unknown is so enticing. Not knowing the language, the food, the way from the bus station to your bed for the night. At the end of the day, being home is easy and the problem with easy is that after the two-week novelty wears off it’s just so dull.
Read about author Lucy Corne and check out her other BootsnAll articles.
Additional photo credits:
Language barrier by jmayzurk on Flickr, backpack by Erik De Leon on Flickr, toilet by hern42 on Flickr, celebrity bysixintheworld on Flickr, starting over by heatheronhertravels on Flickr
Language barrier by jmayzurk on Flickr, backpack by Erik De Leon on Flickr, toilet by hern42 on Flickr, celebrity bysixintheworld on Flickr, starting over by heatheronhertravels on Flickr
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